Those of you who know me know that I’ve been taking a break from ministry for the last several years. Ever since I’ve felt the call to ministry, I’ve been evangelizing regularly on the streets and wherever I go. I carried the burden to evangelize 24/7. When I took a break from ministry, it was definitely a load off and liberating to just live as a normal person and find joy in the simple things of life. During my Sabbatical, I started going out on the weekends to bars and places where people gather to socialize, because I was hungry to meet new people, for community, and companionship. One of my prayers and new year’s resolutions was to expand my network of friends and to befriend a wider spectrum of people from all sorts of backgrounds, especially those outside of church. And this, not only to try to convert them, but merely for the sake of friendship. One of the things I realized years into my seminary studies, was that I had cut off all contacts with my non-Christian friends. Even though I was ministering to non-Christians on the streets all the time, I had no real non-Christian friend whom I enjoyed hanging out with. I realized this was a big problem and wanted to change that. Having carried the burden of evangelism for so many years, it was hard to relate to people on a more human level; I was so overtaken with the burden of saving souls that whenever I met a non-Christian person, the thought of building friendships with them was always secondary to the thought of converting them. I came to see people only as “saved” and “unsaved,” and the latter I saw merely as those who needed to be converted.
Coming to Memphis two and a half years ago, I continued my practice of going to bars, concerts, film festivals, going out on the weekends to meet people and socialize. I got to meet so many interesting, wonderful people. And I began to wonder, why aren’t more Christians at these places? Why isn’t there more of a Christian presence where the people of the world come together? During this time my preconceived notions of going to bars, how the people of the world come together to celebrate, all changed. Yeah, I realize that bars and clubs can be seen in a negative light because some people go there for the wrong reasons. But others are coming just to relax after a long work week and enjoy a drink or two and themselves. Bars are places where people congregate; (to put it in a positive way) it’s more of a social hub where people come together to hang out, socialize, share news and experience community. It’s the perfect place to meet people with their guards down where they can be honest and real with one another. I stopped seeing bars as a place of sin and everything that non-Christians do as sin. And even seeing people in such black and white ways as “sinners” and “saints.” That is why I came to be ok with how the people of the world celebrate and enjoy life. What I’m trying to say is that there was a quiet frustration in my evangelist heart that said, “Why isn’t the church meeting the world on their turf where they meet and congregate? What would Jesus have done if He were on earth today? How would He evangelize?” Jesus hung out with the tax collectors and sinners on their turf (Remember He went to Levi’s home and hung out with all his tax collector friends). Wouldn’t Christ be hanging out with the people of the world in bars, clubs, wherever the people gather? I think perhaps this lack of Christian presence in these places is first due to the false belief that bars are places of sin and that by going to them we can become tainted ourselves. This I’ve found is simply not true. The other reason may be our fear of stepping out of the safe confines of the church and our circle of Christian friends, to reach out to those who are different from us. This leads to us becoming passive in our evangelism efforts. Whereas as mature Christians, we should be more proactive in being present where the people of the world gather and be salt and light among them.
The other thing that I learned during my Sabbatical, through some of the most grueling and traumatic hardships I experienced was the priceless value of empathy. Those of you who know me know that after graduating from Fuller Seminary, I experienced several extreme personal hardships which led me to take a break from ministry. And having experienced such pain and trauma, dealing with a lot of emotional angst, unfulfilled desires, and frustration with where I was in my life, I went through the darkest time of my life. In the midst of what I was going through, I cannot forget the words my mother shared with me. She said, “David you had to go through these things to understand the frailty of man. If you had just graduated from seminary and delved right into ministry you would have never been able to embrace and understand people suffering and in pain.” What I went through I did to prepare me to become more empathetic to people. I believe partially that she’s right. I now have become a humbler, more empathetic person to the pain of others. I’m careful to judge others for what they fail to do. I understand that some people are going through a pain so great that they’re powerless under the weight of it. It is not them who are to blame; they are merely victims of the terrible hand that life has dealt them. I believe and hope that what I’ve gone through has in the least made me a more gracious person.
How does this all relate to evangelism? Evangelism or any form of ministry happens through a twofold understanding. First, understanding of who God is. Second, understanding of who we are as human beings, what makes us tick, what breaks us, what moves us, what brings us to tears, what moves us to joy. Who understood us more than the very God Himself who became one of us and spent 30 years learning to be human? Jesus was the most empathetic evangelist that walked the planet earth. For our evangelism to be truly incarnational, which was Jesus’ method, we need a deeper understanding of human nature. And so it is important as we are learning to evangelize, to connect to people on a human to human level and seek not only to convert the other, (seeing them merely as souls to save) but to learn from them, to be challenged by them, to be inspired by them and to receive love from them. In this way, ministry is not a one-way street, but in serving others, we experience the love of God ministering to us as well. I hope and pray that as we continue to find opportunities to share the Gospel with others, we would grow in our understanding of the humanity of Jesus and the humanity of man, so we could, like Jesus, embrace all frail, sinful people like us and bring them to a relationship with God.
If I could summarize what I’ve learned during my Sabbatical in a few words, it would be “Be more human.” I realize that I myself as one who ministers, am a fallible, weak human being just like the people I minister to and that it is ok to have very real human needs, wants, dreams and aspirations. If I keep on going like a robot while ignoring my own needs, at some point I will breakdown. Just because you are a minister does not mean that you’re somehow above the fray of human emotions and struggles. It is ok to have frailties, personality flaws, weaknesses, because despite all these things God still loves us, and perhaps all the more because of our weaknesses He works powerfully through us to display His glory. His grace is made perfect in weakness. By understanding our own humanity, we also gain a greater capacity to empathize with the humanity of others as well. When we empathize with others in this way, this in turn builds a bridge from our hearts to theirs for the Gospel to travel through. This is the whole reason for the Incarnation, that we like Jesus would truly become like those we minister to; that we would be present with them on their turf, embracing them with all of the gunk, mess and sins they carry. That in doing so we may bring the transformative power of the Gospel, not as those who have it perfectly all together, but as those who like them have experienced deep brokenness and sin but are now mended whole and are being mended whole, with the cracks still showing, breathing, feeling, fully human.